You Know We Have a Hammock?! O.o

As a couple of you peeps know, yesterday I came home from a trip to a lakehouse with a couple besties. It was pretty awesome. There were twenty or so people up there, and it was soooo fantabulous. Our house is close enough to reach a park by walking, and we have the biggest beach.
So while my best friend and I were hanging out on the water trampoline, Evan, Anthony, Sammy, and Jeremy(my best bud) walked over to the park. They somehow got cought up in a conversation with a random kid. His name was Tyler (no idea what last name was) and he was a Freshman in high school this year. In my opinion, he was not pretty. O.o So here's a little snippet of their conversation.

Tyler: Huh, I'm a wrestler. (He did NOT look like one.)
Sammy: That's... great. *is totally not attracted to this guy*
Anthony: *raises eyebrow*
Tyler: So where do you guys live?
Anthony: *still suspicious* ...
Evan: *being pretty dense* Oh... ya know, over theeerrreee *gestures to the house, but not specifically*
*long conversation goes here. lots of awkward pauses*
Jeremy: *in the background* thinks to self: pfft, these dummies.
Tyler: Guh, I really just want to lay in your guyses hammock.
Sammy: O.o
Anthony: o.O
Evan: *totally retarded* You know we have a hammock?!?!?!?!1!!!@1! *is such a blonde*
Tyler: Durhur, well aren't you guys the house on the very end?
Sammy: *stares*
Jeremy: *holy sh***
Anthony: Urm.....
Evan: Yeah.

Okay, so has this guy been stalking us previously too?!?!?

Somehow they got away from him at the park and got back to us and told everything.
But... dun dunn dunnnnnn...!
Tyler comes back just as the sun is setting. He asks my best friend to play ping-pong *casually* and learns our names, what we do, what city we're from, how old we are, etc. She fails at ping-pong, so now of course I have to play. I forgot that I was wearing a bikini top and some short jean shorts.
Somehow he ends up getting my phone number. But *snicker* just my luck, he got the wrong area code. So I'm hoping that he won't be calling me any time.
Later, it gets dark, and the bats are starting to come back out. Hannah(best friend) and I are freaking out because of mosquitoes (plus Tyler) so we escape inside.
We're sitting at the counter, eating and talking about random stuff. We both turn to the sink to get some water. When we turn around, guess who is sitting at the bar now? Holy crap it's Tyler. He followed us in our house.
So we have another really awkward conversation. The entire time he was staring at bikini me. Why not bikini Hannah, for God's sake?! Nope. Just me.
My mom comes in later and her face is all "Holysh**whyisthiskidhereandwhereisyourshirtkatelyn?!?!?!?!"
So she tells Hannah and I to go put on some clothes and leads us down the hall to our rooms. Tyler, of course, tries to follow us. At that moment, Raquel, Jeremy's awesome mom, comes in like "In your DREAMS, perverted freak!!!" and chases him out of the house.
A change of costume later, Hannah and I go back outside, and Tyler sits next to us. O.o My mom sits in between us on purpose. *shield* But later, he moves to the OTHER side of us. That's when my mom is all "You girls should go inside and take a shower." Hannah's like "I'm too lazy," and so am I, until I understand she was trying to get us away from Tyler again. O.O
So Hannah and I give in and run inside the house. Jeremy (the cooliest) is casually standing next to the door with a bat.
We hide out in our room with the door locked and blinds closed all night. Awesome, right?

So Tyler leaves at 10:00. The next day, Hannah and I are too tired to leave the house. Apparently, from what we heard, Tyler came back wondering where we were. My dad, being kind of scary when you look at him, Russ (Athony and Jeremy's extremely intimidating tall dad), and Jeremy chase him off our property for good.
So we're safe from my stalker pretty much, cuz he didn't come back. The next day he kind of wandered along the edge of property with a friend, but we didn't see him after that, thank God.
So that is the stalker story of the year for ya. I hope he never figures out my real area code, cuz I really don't want to change my number. :P
For all of you people out there who wish to stalk me... don't. Just don't. Or I may have to unleash a couple years of practice with a switchblade on you.

Buying more lethal objects,
Desiring some sort of depth of insight,


  1. All of your followers stalk you quietly! Dear or dear.
    No matter how desired it is, you'll never achieve super-sentience if you don't feel threatened, darlin'. ;)
    Keep smiling,

  2. OMFG, KT. You better watch who you're hanging out with...:P good thing Jeremy was there.
    Good Luck,
    Miss ya Babe,

  3. Bwahahaha, Jeremy's a 6th grader! xD

  4. Sounds like you need a body guard if you look to a 6th grader for protection, lol. ;)
    Good luck with that.